I'm guilty of constantly thinking about the "WHAT IF" questions when it comes to dating, or possibly dating someone. What if I had done this instead of that? What if I said those words in a different manner? At times, the questions get as ridiculous as what if I had worn the skinny jeans instead of the bootleg ones? I never understood what I did wrong to have changed the guy's mind, since it seemed like the connection was starting to blossom. He seemed so interested,  and paid such close attention to what I did. Oh how he played those mind games. Maybe he didn't like the way I said something, or maybe he just thought of me as his entertainment. I always questioned myself, and I even thought that I was just never good enough for the guy.

My friends have seen me go through the same phase time and time again. They tell me the same thing: it's not you, it's him.

Every time I heard that, I just got mad. It didn't make any sense. How could it be him? He was perfect, funny, remembered little details, and definitely not corny. Impossible. It had to be me, and no one else but me. I had to have done something to push him away or just ruin my chances.

Now that some time has passed, I understand what my friends mean. They were right, and they weren't just giving me the same cliches. I just wasn't listening well enough.

Whatever his reasons for even giving me those little moments of attentions were his reasons alone. I couldn't have done anything that would have made him think differently about me, and that's just something I'm starting to accept. I shouldn't consider changing myself just so some guy can like me. He did what he did, and I had and still have no power over that.

This seems so obvious to a good number of people, but I didn't understand it until now. I had feelings for a guy, and he didn't have them back. I finally accepted that and have moved on. Just thought I had to share that bit to make me feel a tad better about myself. =]

Does anyone else feel the way I felt?

So recently my friend and I have been talking about the "friend zone." I honestly think it's a confusing concept. I don't even realize that a guy is in the "friend zone" until he asks me, "So, do you see us going anywhere?" After that question is asked I know he is in the "friend zone" if I become repulsed by the statement.

Then my friend told me he didn't understand girls at all. He says that girls tell him they want a nice guy, one who cares, one who listens to the problems, and that the girls tell him they want to be with someone who actually wants to put effort in a relationship. I personally think he did a little too much generalizing.

With that said, my friend has the problem of being in the "friend zone" a lot. He's nice, he's caring, he listens well.  But is it because he's too nice? Is it because he actually cares?

What makes a guy a "FRIEND?"